AUTHOR: tbooty DATE: 4/16/2004 10:59:00 AM ----- BODY: my father is a pun master. let's face it, the man is pun-ny. (bad, i know. it only gets worse.) ask kymmie. she'll tell you. sometimes i think his brain works faster than his mouth, but he does make us laugh! this story needs a little set up, so bear with me. i, by nature am a complete and total smart ass, with a pretty warped sense of humor. not my fault. i come by it totally natural. you see, my parents are total smart asses, and it was a total survival mechanism for my brother and i to develop our smartassedness in order to survive our household. again, kymmie will confirm this. some of dad's puns are VERY bad, some you wonder if he stayed up all night trying to connect and some are just damn genius. seeing as how i am fruit of his loins, i, most of the time, can determine where he is going with his thoughts (which i might add, is freakin' scary, let me tell you!). however, this "best pun ever" did NOT come from dad's warped and twisted mind. mind you, it WOULD have, but I BEAT HIM TO IT!! woo hoo for me!!! but i digress. here is the aforementioned setup............................... we were watching the home team (read: seattle mariner's. you know, the ones that are currently sucking ass?) play the anaheim angels. (i know they're not calling themselves the "anaheim" angels anymore, i don't give a rat's ass. that's what they were called then, so that's what i am going with.) now, mind you our beloved sports announcers don't always know what they are talking about. in fact, if you've ever seen major league, think of bob uecker's character and you'll get a picture. the angels were up to bat, their guy tim salmon was at 3rd base, and the guy at the plate hit the ball right back to the pitcher. the pitcher looked salmon back to the bag at 3rd and threw to 1st for the out. the announcer said "and he freezes salmon at third". i said "look! frozen fish!" that's it the best pun ever! even dad was impressed, dare i say proud. and that's saying a whole lot! --------